


Internal War

by InfiniteKittie



Category: Sam and Colby, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (kinda), Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt Sam Golbach, Hurt/Comfort, Madness, Protective Colby Brock, Suicide Attempt, Supernatural Elements, YouTubers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22572100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteKittie/pseuds/InfiniteKittie
Summary: Sam didn’t know what to say, he had never sleepwalked in his life. Yet he had walked all the way to the Traphouse without realising it. But that wasn’t the most startling realisation of the night.“Colby-?”“What’s up?”“How do I know that I’m not dreaming now?”
Relationships: Colby Brock & Sam Golbach, Sam Golbach/Katrina Stuart
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Internal War

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, 
> 
> I’m so sorry about kinda disappearing for ages. I’ve been sick, and we have a bushfire burning about 40 mins away from where I live. Last week it was burning at an emergency level and my entire city was declared in a state of emergency (meaning we have to be ready to evacuate at any time). Luckily, we’re fine and safe, and the bushfire is downgraded to advice level. 
> 
> And then apparently, my mental health decided to have a fun little adventure of its own but that kinda lead to this story (thanks to Nova_Raven, for suggesting I write through it and see what comes out). 
> 
> I’m not entirely sure when the next chapter of Face to Face will be uploaded, as university starts back next week, but I’ll try to upload something next week
> 
> :)
> 
> ______________________________
> 
> Enjoy!! 
> 
> This is swearing and make sure to read through the tags.

* * *

“Sam, are you seriously being safe with all these... rituals?” Her voice shook with the weight of her words.

“As safe as I can be, babe.” She frowned, the answer almost confirming the reason she was afraid. 

“But- but that’s not good enough!” 

“Where’s all of this coming from, Kat?” Tears has started streaming down her cheeks and he lifted his hand to catch them, but she pulled back. This time it was his turn to frown. “Katrina?” 

“Every time you do one of these things, you’re opening yourself up to things you can’t even imagine!” 

“Hey hey hey.” Sam caught her as she dissolved into sobs, her mind panicking about her lover. She felt him move them to a softer surface, feeling herself fall directly into his lap as his hands tightened around her waist. 

“You have to promise me.” She mumbled into his shoulder, his shirt drying her tears. “You have to promise me-“ 

“Promise you, what, Kat? I’ll promise you anything but you have to tell me what.” She continued sobbing and repeating the words like a mantra. She felt his fingers brushing through hair, probably trying to calm her down. 

He whispered in her ear, soft words that varied from, “shhh” to “promise you what, babe?” But for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to finish. Almost like she couldn’t quite remember what she wanted him to promise her. But it nagged at the back of her mind, a fear she didn’t know how to voice. 

* * *

An hour passed and Sam was sure that his girlfriend had fallen asleep. He had moved them to the couch in his apartment when she had started crying. He didn’t quite understand what was going on, but something was bothering her and he wanted nothing more than to make all of her worries disappear. 

He continued to brush her hair, the soft blue curls twirling around his fingers. He knew that Kat hated that he did scary ghost stuff and even more so, that he did it in the areas where he lived and slept. But she had never dissolved into such a state before and his heart was aching. Sam hated that she was hurting because of his actions and decisions but he couldn’t change the past, only the future. _Maybe that’s what she wanted him to promise, that he wouldn’t do it anymore._

That was a hard decision to make. Sam desperately wanted to make her happy, to bring a smile to his love’s face and not a frown of anguish and hurt. But his fans loved the 3am challenges. They were his best performing videos. Not to mention he loved the thrill of it all, never one hundred percent believing, but wishing he’d find some proof to show otherwise. _How could he just give that all up?_

His eyes glanced back at his sleeping girlfriend. He could for _her_. And only for her. For Katrina, he’d give up the world, he’d do anything and that includes this. Besides, he could still do videos about 3am challenges, just not actually doing one. 

A murmur distracted him from his thoughts. Kat was mumbling something, but she was still asleep. Sam moved his head as low as he could to try and catch what she was saying. “Promise me- promise me Sam.” 

“I got that part, Katrina. What’s the promise?” He whispered, impatience falling over him. 

“Promise me that you’ll close it. Promise me, Sam.” 

“Close what? Close what?” He was so close! He was so close to getting the answer. But it wasn’t what he was expecting. Nor was it an answer he understood. 

“Promise me that you’ll close the door. You have to close the door.” Sam glanced around his apartment to find the opened door that she was so petrified about closing. _But all the doors were closed, so what door was Kat talking about?_

* * *

“And you’re sure she said door?” Colby asked. Sam had stayed with Kat as she slept for a few hours before his phone dinged to remind him that he was meeting Colby. He gently shook her awake, her eyes blearily taking in his shape as he told her that he was heading to Colby’s and would be back soon. She was fighting the battle with sleep, but Sam had brushed her lips with his and told her to get a lot of rest and so she surrendered. 

“She was sleep mumbling, but yeah. She said to promise her that I’ll close the door. But none of the doors in my apartment were open.” Colby tilted his head in confusion. 

“Huh.”

“Yeah.” 

“So you two were talking about the 3am challenges before, right?” 

“Yeah but I don’t know what that has to do with anything?” Colby pulled his phone out and started scrolling through something. 

“There was something that I had read, and I was pretty sure I had saved it- Here it is.” 

“What?”

“This website was one that I found while doing research on ghosts and stuff for our channel. It says that ‘sometimes when you’re actively calling on spirits or entities from the other side, you can open a door in your mind.’ It continues to say how that’s a ‘very very dangerous thing‘.” Sam glanced at Colby. 

“Does it say why?” 

“Because you never know what will try to get in.”

Sam blinked and the world melted away. 

* * *

He opened his eyes to see that he was no longer in Colby’s apartment talking to his best friend, but somewhere completely different. 

Sam stood in an abandoned building, one that in his bones he recognised, but not consciously. He and Colby had visited so many abandoned places over the years that some of them started to melt into the same string of memories. 

He turned around trying to find... _someone? Wasn’t he just with someone?_ Sam frowned as he tried to clear his muddled thoughts. But it seemed that the building had other plans. 

A deafening creak resounded throughout the building. Sam told himself that it was just the building settling, even though his heart rate was now significantly higher than before. Blinking several times, Sam took in the lack of light streaming through the shattered windows and cuts in the still-standing walls. 

Somewhere in Sam’s mind he knew that being here in the dark was not a good idea, there could be homeless people who would be coming and going through the building. There could be wild animals that have made this their cave or den and would not take well to him being here. 

“Colby?” Sam called out as he walked around the place, trying to get his bearings. He couldn’t quite remember what had lead him to this very moment. His mind was fuzzy, unable to recall any memories of the day. Even though he knew just seconds ago he knew more than now. But what struck him as weird was he hadn’t received a response.

“Hey, Colby! You there?” Sam tried to keep his voice from shaking. _Why wasn’t he answering? Where was Colby?_ Surely Sam hadn’t set out on his own, surely there was someone who had come with him. _Right?_

A cracking sound made Sam jump, as some of the rubble shifted, forcing Sam to take in his surroundings properly. The room he was in was half caved in, the walls and mounds of cement creating a barrier against the outside, parts of the ceiling have collapsed onto the wall and on the floor in several areas. The windows told Sam that he was not on the ground floor, as he couldn’t see the road or the pavement outside the house, but the crumbling staircase behind him told him that he wasn’t on the top floor either, somewhere in between. 

Taking in the state of the building, it was strange that he had chosen to explore this place at night. Usually, anything that was questionable in stability they explored during the daylight. Unless it was high security. But then, _where was his partner in crime?_

A sudden barge of thoughts, of memories, plundered through his skull, knocking him off balance. _January 2019, Florida. They were arrested for trespassing. Sam had to bail Colby out. They decided to stick to ghost hunting content as they couldn’t risk being arrested again. April 2019, Los Angeles. They went to the enchanted forest for a ritual. It ended badly and they took a break from social media. They came back, with a focus on ghost hunting series’s._

So how the hell did he end up in an abandoned building if not for a video? 

His heart started racing, his lungs contracting and constricting, stopping air from reaching his vital organs. _Why was he here?_ And more importantly, _why couldn’t he remember getting here?_

His feet were moving before his mind made the decision. Into the rickety hallway and towards the broken staircase, barely leaning on the rail as he pushed himself down. He stumbled over the last of the remaining stairs, almost not having enough time to grasp the railing and the wall. His almost fall made him stop to catch his breath and get his bearings. But he wished he didn’t. 

Sam stood on the ground floor of the abandoned building and immediately he knew why it was abandoned. Red painted the ceiling, the walls and the floor. He didn’t need to get closer to know that it was paint splattered everywhere. His head spun, as a creak above him roared in his ears. _Was someone there with him?_

He took one step forward, eyes darting around the area to find somewhere to hide. But his thoughts were interrupted when his foot landed on some broken glass, the sound echoing throughout the entire structure. _Shit, fuck._

Another creak and another, footsteps barrelling towards the stairs in the floor where Sam had just been. Whatever was up there would be coming down the stairs in seconds. It would find him and from the loud noises, Sam guessed that it wouldn’t be a warm greeting. He needed to move now. 

A glimpse of a foot and something being dragged behind it, was all he saw before he bolted. Crashing his shoulder into the wall just behind him, leaving a hole in the desiccating plaster. It disorientated him but didn’t stop him. He continued to run, his life depending on it. 

He stumbled down the corridor leading to the main doors, one of which was open just a crack. A disturbed laugh floated through the air and a bang wobbled the floor. If it was possible, Sam’s heart rate jumped even higher and he choked on the scrap of air he was able to draw in. 

_No no no no nononononono. He can’t die like this. He can’t die. Fuck no._

Sam didn’t even blink before pushing the door open and barrelling through. 

* * *

“AHHHHHH!” Sam awoke with a deafening scream. His limps flailed on his bed, trying to push the restraint off his body. 

“Dude, dude!” Someone rushed in, hands grabbing at his body. Fuck no. 

“Get the fuck off of me!” 

“Hey hey hey, Sam it’s me. It’s Colby. It’s okay.” The name registered in his mind and immediately his heart began to calm down. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” Sam didn’t believe it for a second but allowed himself to breathe and follow his best friend’s words.

It took Sam a while before he had calmed down enough to be able to be coherent. He blinked several times, as if not quite believing what he saw. 

“Colby?” His eyebrows furrowed as he took in the appearance of his best friend. The brunette’s hair was messy, his blue eyes red with tiredness and he was dressed in gym pants and his return tank. He was kneeling on the floor next to Sam’s bed, hand holding onto his. There was a small squeeze on the blonde’s hand that Sam returned, still confused as to what was happening.

“Hey, you with me?” The brunette’s soft voice was laced with sleep. _Had he woken him up? Wait-_

“Why are you here, Colby?” This time, it was Colby’s turn to frown. 

“You don’t remember?” 

“Remember what?” Colby sighed and stood up, moving to climb onto the bed, dropping Sam’s in the process. There was a tiny flash of disappointment before Sam shifted on the bed to leave space for Colby.

“You called me last night. About three,” he paused as he obviously read the question in the blonde’s eyes. “It’s seven now. You said that you had to close a door? And then you hung up. I started freaking because you sounded so out of it, I thought you were high off your ass, which you have never been. So I pinged your location and found you wandering around the streets near the Traphouse.” Sam titled his head. 

“I was sleepwalking?” Colby nodded, eyes carefully watching every move Sam made. 

“Yeah. And just as I got you in the car, you seemed to wake up for a couple of seconds before falling asleep again. It was crazy, dude.” 

Sam didn’t know what to say, he had never sleepwalked in his life. Yet he had walked all the way to the Traphouse without realising it. But that wasn’t the most startling realisation of the night. 

“Colby-?” 

“What’s up?” 

“How do I know that I’m not dreaming now?” 

* * *

Colby had been speechless at Sam’s question, unable to form a response. Sam had looked down at his hands and Colby felt his heart break. He had to save Sam, no matter the cost. He reached across and held one of Sam’s hands in his own, much like he did while trying to calm him down a few minutes ago. 

“We’ll figure this out, okay? We’ll figure this out.” Colby wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure Sam, or himself. But he kept a smile on his face as he stroked the back of his best friend’s hand. 

“And what if we can’t? I’m- I’m going ins-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Sam. We’re gonna be fine, brother. We’ll figure it out, you’re not going insane.” The last words Colby was one hundred percent certain of and would prove to Sam that they were true, everyday if he had too. 

* * *

Days passed and Sam was confined to his apartment. Between Kat and Colby, he was never alone either. They both crashed at his place every night and during the day, one of them would always be around. Colby left some days, following up on leads with psychics and mediums, anyone that might be able to tell them more about what was happening, and if they were lucky, how to stop it. The other days, Kat would go out grocery shopping, stocking his fridge and cupboards up with food to cook and prepare. 

Sam continued to have moments where he thought he was awake, when he was so certain that he hadn’t fallen asleep. But every time, he woke to the sound of himself screaming and either his girlfriend, best friend or both trying to calm him down with those _stupidly_ concerned eyes. _It wasn’t fair that he was losing his mind, this was never supposed to happen._

That day was a rare day when Sam seemed to just wake up, without screaming or drawing the attention of his new, forced, housemates. But just as he was getting out of bed, he hard their hushed voices and his name. He tip toed towards the bedroom door, whatever he was going to do completely forgotten. 

“Are you so sure that this is still supernatural?” Kat’s voice quaked. 

“What, as opposed to facing the reality that my best friend might be actually losing his mind? Yeah I’m certain this is supernatural.” Sam flinched at Colby’s tone, imagining that Kat had probably moved backwards. 

“But are you sure or is it just because you don’t want to believe otherwise?” 

“I’m sure Kat. There’s no way that Sam would be going through a psychological break before me. He’s the logical one, the smart one, unless demons are involved.” He heard them both half heartedly laugh. 

“If this is something ghost or demon related, then how do we know that it’s ever Sam when he wakes up?” The question must have stumped Colby because there was silence for a few minutes. 

“I guess we don’t. But with all the confusion and dream tricks, then it’s not just a fight for Sam’s body-“

“It’s a fight for his mind.” Kat whispered, finishing Colby’s thought.   
  


Sam stumbled backwards, knocking into the rack with his hoodies hung on it. The whole thing came crashing down as Sam was pushed onto his bed. 

“Sam!” He heard both of them shout before thundering footsteps slammed his door open. Gentle, soft fingers traced his face and arms. Trying to find any injuries, he presumed. He looked up into those soft greenish brown eyes that he falls in love with every single time. 

“Katrina.” He hummed in contentment, eyes flickering closed. 

“Hey hey hey. Keep your eyes open for a second, Sam.” Her soft voice urged him, as she patted the side of his head. “Do you have your phone?” She asked Colby who had pulled the rack back up. He nodded and pulled it out, moving over to the two of them. He flicked the torch setting on and aimed it towards his eyes. Kat’s hand titled his head to each side before brushing through his hair. “He’s fine, no concussion.” 

“Thankfully. What the hell were you doing, brother?” 

“Listening.” Kat and Colby met each other’s eyes and Sam felt himself flop down, eyes closing. 

* * *

He stood in the open air, the wind whipping his hair around. He glanced down and immediately his eyes darted back to the horizon. There were cars honking their horns and late night partiers giggling and shouting, high and drunk. Sam took a deep breath before he shuffled forward a step, then two. The third took him to the very edge, the wind almost pushing him over. 

“SAM!” 

“SAM, HEY STOP!” 

The two voices sounded familiar but he couldn’t be bothered to place them. “This is just a dream.” He mumbled, risking another glance at his destination. 

“Sam! Sam what the hell are you doing, brother? Just take a step back.” The male voice came closer. 

“It’s okay. It’s a dream.” Sam answered, not taking his eyes away from the traffic lights that seems to call his name. 

“No, Sam. It’s not a dream, this is real.” The voice was afraid. No one’s afraid in dreams. There’s nothing to be afraid of. 

“If you take another step, you’re gonna hurt yourself, badly. Very very badly. So just come back with us.” 

“Please, Sam.” The female voice was closer too, but not as close as the male’s. 

“You don’t get hurt in dreams. There’s no pain.” 

“This isn’t a dream. This is real life. Sam, hey, look at me.” The blonde sighed, his eyes drifting to the owner of the male voice. 

Ocean blue eyes stared back at him, the same eyes that always reassured him, that always pushed him to be the best he could be. 

“Colby.” Sam spoke, as if confirming the identity of the person in front of him. 

“Yes it’s me. I’m your best friend, Sam. And we trust each other with our lives, don’t we?” Sam nodded. “Then trust me, that this is not a dream.”

The blonde’s head titled in confusion. 

“Of course it’s a dream. How’d I get up here, if it wasn’t?” 

“You were sleepwalking.” The other voice answered and Sam turned his head to look at her. The girl who owned his heart, who he cherishes and showers with love. 

“Kat.” A small smile came to her face and she moved a step closer. 

“It’s okay, Sam. But you have to believe us. You’re awake.” 

“How do I know that? How can I be sure?” His certainty was cracking. _Maybe it wasn’t a dream after all._

“I think I read somewhere that you have extra fingers in dreams. So let’s count my fingers and then you can be sure that this is real.” Sam nodded and turned his body towards his friends rather than the edge of the roof. 

Colby held out one hand and positioned the other to point at each finger. 

“One, two-“

“Three, four, five-“ Sam continued to count, Kat echoing him softly while Colby fell silent, switching his hands around. 

“Six, seven, eight, nine-“

“Ten.” They all finished together. And with that number, the weight of the realisation of what he was just about to do, completely crashes into him and he stumbles, tears pouring down his face. 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Kat was there, pulling him into her and soon Colby was there too. 

“It’s okay, Sam. We’ve got you, we’ve got you, dude.” The floodgates opened and didn’t appear to know how to close, staining Kat’s top. But she didn’t mind as she continued to run his back and whisper soothing words. 

“I’m so... so sorry. I- I’m losing my mind.” 

“We’re gonna help you, brother. We’re here for you.” 

“But-“ 

“It’s always been Sam and Colby versus the world and it will always be us against the world, we just have an extra cheerleader with us.” 

“Hey, why am I a cheerleader?” 

“Because you always cheer Sam up.” Colby answered, groaning at his own pun. “I can’t believe I just said that.” 

* * *

They laughed through Sam’s tears as he broke down that night on the edge of the apartment building’s rooftop. It was the first and last time that Sam had managed to sneak out while sleep walking. From then on, they told Jake and Corey and passed the message onto Tara and Devyn. The six of them taking turns in groups of three to watch over Sam. 

The fight for Sam’s mind wouldn’t be won in a matter of days, all of them knew that. But they knew that the fight for Sam’s mind would be won, eventually. Colby was close to understanding what was truly going on inside his best friend’s mind, and with Corey's help, they actually found a medium willing to come and see the damage for herself. 

So, the war will be won, but just not now. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not entirely happy with all of this in its entirety, maybe te ending’s a bit rushed. But I wanted to post it anyway. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!  
> Please leave a comment letting me know if you did!
> 
> Don’t forget to follow my Twitter for further updates about when I post  
> @KittieInfinite  
> https://www.twitter.com/


End file.
